30/11/2009 06:02:07
During the month off August, Haindava Keralam launched 'Lavanya Mangalya Nidhi' to help organize the wedding of Smt. Lavanya, daughter of Late Shri. Pushparajanji of Chooranadu, Kerala.
( http://www.haindavakeralam.com/HKPage.aspx?PageID=8984&SKIN=S )
We are happy to announce that with the help and support of all our readers and well wishers, Haindava Keralam was able to raise a sum of One Lakh and Twenty Five thousand rupees for this wedding. The amount has been received by the Seva Bharathi in Kerala and handed over to the family. The wedding was held on 27th August 2009 with the blessings of all our supporters
Haindava Keralam takes this opportunity to thank one and all of you and expect your support in all our future commitments to our Hindu society all over the world.
I wish someone here would tell me why such a thing as collecting money for a wedding is sought to be done, that too by swayamsevaks, who ought to know better. Why, to register a marriage legally, not more than Rs.100 is required. Every single paisa spent above that is, according to me, vulgar. If such a nidhi was sought for a person's medical operation, it is understandable. But for marriage? Was it to buy gold that the bride or groom could not afford? But why is gold essential? Was it to give dowry? But is not dowry pernicious? Was it for the feast at the wedding? But why feast? Almost all who would have been invited would have been people who come from houses which have at least food to eat. Donating for charity? Ah, this makes sense. But I am sure that not much would have been actually spent on giving food to people who would otherwise have gone to bed without food that day. Maybe some food may have been given to beggars - but we ought to know that most beggars these days are a professional lot, being part of syndicates that exploit situations.
So I think that a movement like Hindava Keralam (yes, I don't see Haindava Keralam just as a media organization) should be more idealistic and less material. I hope my words do not offend anyone here. But we are selling ourselves to the materialistic mindset more and more as the days pass. This is no Hinduism. Hinduism is all about spirituality, not materialism.
Reply to Shri Venugopal and Congrats HK
Dear Venugopal,
Here what we are discussing is the marriage of a Swayamsevak's daughter who was brutally killed by the enemies of Sangh.If Pushparajanji was not a swayamsevak and had opted a life just like as that of a passive Hindu - He should have been still alive and he should have been there to conduct the marriage of his daughter without the support of any one of us.
If all the marriages of Swayamsevaks and their family members were done by spending less than 100 Rupees then I could digest what you were saying.
How many of us swayamsevaks are ready to conduct our daughters marriage in a court?
Here what the swayamsevaks in the area did is a exemplary job by conducting the marriage of their fellow swayamsevaks daughter considering her as their own swayamsevaks.
It was for the first time I noticed HK appealing for the help of it's readers for a genuine cause, Though they have posted various news clips of appeals from various other organisations they never appealled in their behalf, if I am right.
Thanks to Haindava Keralam for taking up this cause and Venugopalji , probably we have to initiate a debate about Swayamsevak's marriage but certainly not here.
A Swayamsevak
Let not the corrupt set our norms
Dear Rajeshji, I understand your sentiments and share it with you. But I think you've missed the point. As you pointed out, if Pushparajanji was not a swayamsevak he might have still been alive and might have conducted his daughter’s marriage as ordinary Hindus do. That is the whole point. Ordinary Hindus have become so materialistic that the norm of a marriage is to spend at least a lakh rupees on it. So ordinary Hindus decide what is the norm. Well, if we go by the norms of ordinary Hindus, the moneyed would buy our souls. It is precisely because ordinary Hindus were faced with self-destruction that Doctorji decided to create extraordinary Hindus who would rise to the occasion and set examples of what should be the norms in Hindu society. Are we rising to the occasion? That is the question.
Simple living and high thinking is what should be expected of swayamsevaks, for the greatest benefit lies therein. If swayamsevaks, who speak of Hinduism more than anyone else do not get the benefit of Hinduism's highest teaching, who else would?
Last but not least, I would say that the greatest disaster awaiting Hindus (or any other society) is corruption. By corruption I mean not just the ordinary type, but the corruption of sublime ideals itself. I would go to the extend of saying that the greatest enemies of our nation are not the Islamic or Communist terrorists, whom we have already recognized as such, but the corrupt ones because we have not yet recognised them as enemies. On the contrary, their style of living has become our norm. I think corruption exemplified by the Reddy brothers of Karnataka, to whom we succumbed, would do our nation more harm than having Osama bin Ladens loose in our midst. It would be the corruption within us that would allow Osama bin Ladens to thrive in our midst. You have only to study the circumstances of 26/11 in Mumbai to see this clearly.
The wedding
Venugopalji
Probably you wouldn't understand the situation of a family who lost a family member for the sake of an ideology he believed in.
Every mother would love to see her daughter married off in a way that is respectable in a society. Our swayamsevaks simply took up the task over a promise made by the Sangh to the family of a fallen soldier of hindutva.
In issues like this money is simply paper value infront of values and relationships.
I salute HK and all swayamsevaks who came forward to help sangh fulfill this promise made by its elders.
Maybe it would be immaterial, but to mention that the wedding g was not done to a swayamsevak. If a swayamsevak would have come forward (as in majority cases), this wedding would have been done in a much more simple manner.
At this moment we should all say sorry to the countless number of sisters who were not lucky enough to receive our help.
Rather than complain about what we spent !!
Hitching good intentions with society's material standards.
Dear Krishnakumarji, I assure you that I am proud of all the swayamsevaks who came forward to shoulder the burden of marriage of our late beloved swayamsevak's daughter. It was pure love that moved them and it is this trait of swayamsevaks to sacrifice for fellow-swayamsevaks that has been the hallmark of Sangha.
However, I sought to raise a bigger question here. You have pre-empted my question when you said, "married off in a way that is respectable in a society". This is the whole tragedy which we do not even seem to recognise. That huge amounts have to be spent on marriages to qualify to be a respectable member of society has become the norm that has been set by ordinary Hindus. But ordinary Hindus are on a self-destructive course, not the least because of their indifference to the higher teachings of Hinduism. If swayamsevaks are only going to be ordinary Hindus, what hope would the Hindu society have? Ideally a swayamsevak should have come forward to marry Lavanya. Maybe it did not happen because we did not pursue it with the seriousness it deserves. Or maybe because we, being somewhat cynical, were sure it would not work and therefore did not strive for it. Whatever, the moment we cease to have faith in idealism, we would fail to have any chance of being extraordinary.
I am sorry that the point I have raised is seen by you as my complaining even when a good job has been done. Not true. I have no complaints. I only wish to caution our swayamsevaks against hitching good intentions with society's material standards of respectability.
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Movement for simple marriages
I think Sangha should start a movement against lavish weddings (by seeking to influence the public at large to go in for simple marriages) and Haindava Keralam could take the lead in propagating this movement.
I wish to mention some things in this regard.
1. Narayana Gurudevan spoke of simple marriages where only 5 persons from the bride's and groom's side each take part.
2. Nair marriages were considered the simplest and quickest as far as rituals went.
3. Even a generation back, marriages were conducted at home and those invited joined in the previous evening to prepare the items for sadya the next day. Today marriage feasts take place in public halls and even non-vegetarian items are served.
4. As far as expenses go, we have multiplied it, what with sadya at "urrakal" or engagement, sadya at the actual wedding, and a tea-party reception for those who could not attend the wedding. These days another sadya is given at the place of the groom also!
To venugopalji
Thank you for your clarification.
However, I would like to inform you that we only helped that family financially for that wedding and did not actually conduct it.
Anyways your message is clear and very true. But I guess in some circumstances these things are bound to happen.
Appreciate the effort by the swayamsevaks who stood by and made sure of a future for Lavanya.
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